A Furnished Denmark
by Mizukotsu
Summary: Denmark gets turned into a sofa, and Norway takes advantage of it.


Another prompt off a request from APH anon kinkmeme. 3

* * *

It had been a long quiet day for Norway. There was no noise, no loud Dane ruining his afternoon book-reading, and no one hogging the bathroom every night. Moreover, no one to wake him up at the crack of dawn with a loud "GOD MORGEN, NORGE!" which more often than not led to a /very/ cranky Norwegian for the rest of the day. Well, more moody than he usual because he liked his beauty sleep, which typically was about twelve hours or so of it. As the second day passed, however, without an inkling of noise or sight of Denmark, an awkward feeling emerged within him. As much as he was indulging every last minute of silence, he was beginning to /miss/ the voice of the idiot, also, where /was/ he anyway?

As he brewed his third pot of coffee of the day, and quietly prepared himself his millionth cup of sweet, aromatic liquid caffeine, he pondered this new observation of the missing Dane. Now that he did think about it, he had no idea what happened to him, and though it was almost the end of the second day, Norway was /missing/ him. He wasn't sure if he liked that or not but as he also began to realize that Denmark hadn't even mentioned a word to him about going anywhere, he frowned. What the hell? Some boyfriend he was. Deciding then that he'll look around for some clues or evidence, heck, perhaps the buffoon left a note somewhere stupidly placed, he left the kitchen to begin his search.

What had felt like hours later, which was really only about fifteen minutes, he found himself in the basement of his home, which he referred to as "The Den" aka. Where he banished Denmark to whenever he was being a bitch. His coffee was already refilled before coming down here to think as he stretched his legs out along the cushions of the somewhat odd looking couch, which smelled heavily of the man he slept with. Stupid Denmark… disappearing like that without a word. Where they hell did this couch come from, anyway? He didn't recall ever seeing it before an-

"Norge?"

The mentioned blinked slowly, ears picking up on the familiar voice of Denmark yet sounding somewhat… subdued. Like there was something pressed against his mouth. "…Yes?" He responded with hesitance, mainly because the Dane sounded so damn close, but he saw him nowhere within sight while he had leaned up to look around. He definitely didn't see Denmark anywhere.

"I think I'm a sofa."

Oh. Was /that/ where Denmark had been all this time? He could only bet that the other was stupid and ate something that he told him not too. That could also explain the disappearance of one of his magically-enhanced cookies which were always used against England. Yet even though he was miffed about it, he couldn't help a smirk make it's way across his face as he put down his coffee on the stand beside the couch. Now that he was taking a closer look at the piece of furniture he noticed how it did look a bit more… blonde and figured that was why it looked unusual. Sidling up close into the back of the couch, his side pressing into the soft pillows of the love seat, he ran his hand up along them, "Been there, done that~" and has he ever. Not saying he has ever been a couch, in fact, he was a chair once, but he had bad-touched furniture before just to piss off a certain Englishman whenever he managed to trick him to eat his food…

"Nooor~ What are you doooing~?" Sofa-Den's voice sounded strained and Norway only grinned some more. Out of his own experience, he believed the Dane couldn't see him but he certainly did feel him.

"I can give you a good time with you like that, Danmark~" This time he dragged a finger down between the crack of the pillowing, wondering what part of Denmark's body he could be touching and he was going to find out. Though if couch anatomy would be like a human's anatomy, than this was definitely Den's asscrack. Or so he hoped.

"N-Norge! Don't touch there! Only I should touch you there!"

With an ever wider grin he retracted his hand and began to unbutton his shirt which was quickly tossed aside and leaning up onto his knees he unzipped his pants and removed those as well. "Oh… but Danmark, I can't resist you like this." He soon made that clear when he moved in close to the crack of the pillows again and pressed himself into it. It was so arousing to him and he wasn't even sure why because he never got excited this quick with England. Then again, he does it to tease and humiliate Arthur, but with Denmark… oh, with him it was a completely different story.

With a slow pace, he thrust himself between the couch cushions, but not too much as the backing of the couch would be painful against his tip, and he gripped each of side of the couch pillows with his hands in a firm grasp as though he was massaging Denmark's asscheeks. He also suddenly wanted to lick sofa-Den, but then he realized it wouldn't be skin, but fabric, and he didn't really wanted lint or anything of the like on his tongue. Tough luck, he thought, and after a few more moments of leisurely fucking the thing, he stopped and pulled himself out. He could hear a slight whimpering, and Norway cooed to the other, but not exactly words of comfort or anything, "I'm all hard for you now, Danmark~"

Sofa-Den couldn't really respond right away but once he did he whined, and what he said was something surprising and not what Norway expected at all to hear in this situation, "I wish I could /see/ you doing this, Nor! I bet you look so sexy!" Suddenly the couch moved, if even just a little, but it made Norway's eyes widen, but then grin. So if Denmark had the will too, he could move, eh? "Dammit, Nor! This isn't fair, but tell me, am I one fine piece of sofa? I bet I'm the sexiest couch ever! And the comfiest!" With a soft pat on the couch, Norway curtly nodded, though his tone sounded a bit too sarcastic in reply to the other.

"The most sexiest and comfiest couch ever and just so damn fine I had to fuck it."

The laugh that he missed so much in the last couple of days, though he'd never admit it, ringed throughout the basement, "I knew it, Nor!" The sofa moved ever the faintest again. Why exactly was it moving in the first place, anyway? Maybe it was actually a sign that the spell would be lifted soon… Whatever, Norway didn't bother wanting to question it, wishing to move on with what he was doing and crawling over to the arm of the couch he climbed on top of it and straddled it.

"Ooh~ Nooor~ Ja. That's a good spot~"

Obliging to Denmark's content remark, Norway moved himself against the arm, hands holding on for balance as he threw back his head. If he were female, this would probably be more pleasurable because it wasn't really relieving him any but he supposed that he could be nice enough to keep going just for the other. "Too bad you can't taste me, Danmark, otherwise I'd jerk myself all over you~" Wait. Who cares about that? He was going to do it anyway because it wasn't like he and Denmark had never stained a couch before and it was the same concept, really. With that in mind, he grabbed himself and began to stroke himself to the rhythm he created from riding the other. Well, the couch.

"O-Oh god, Nor. You are going to get it after this, but in the meantime... your bum feels so nice rubbing on me like that."

There was no doubt at all in Norway's mind that Denmark's smile never faded at all during this entire scenario. Though, who was he trying to kid, anyway? Anything made Denmark happy, he was an easy guy to please, even as a couch. "S-Shut up, Den…or else I'll make sure that you eat the cookies that turn you into a toilet." What a threat, but a good one, because it would be easy to slip such things to the other and with faster work of his hand, he moaned lowly, and continued to add on to the warning, ".. And I'll be sure to invite Sverige over for dinner one night and to use you when he needs to have a shit." It truly was a wonder, really, how Norway could still keep himself stiff even through all this nonsense. He kept going though, determined to reach climax as he moved his ass faster and faster along the part of the couch he was seated on.

"S-So mean, Nor…!"

Mean, he says? Heh. He'll show him mean and with some final jerking movements of his hand he came all over the arm of the couch and then bent forward to ease his deep breathing. While he calmed down, he rubbed his mess into the material of the furniture piece that was Denmark. "Mean, Danmark… is me leaving you like this." A bit reluctantly, he moved off to the side onto the floor and stood up, rubbing his relieved cock with one hand as the other run through his hair.

"W-What! You're gunna leave me like this!"

Ah. Now there was that panic in the Dane's voice and he relished in it greatly. Walking around to pick up his articles of clothing he began slipping them back on, "You won't stay like that forever, you know." Well, now that he knew where his dearest Dane was he didn't have to worry anymore and he walked over to the staircase to return back upstairs to continue his reading.

* * *

AN: I realize this isn't as cracky as the OP would have liked, BUT, it was too tempting not to fill it anyway ;A;


End file.
